I get what you're saying, but I feel like you're really overgeneralizing. Sure, the self-pity and defeatism aren't helping anybody, and the frequency with which it appears here is frustrating. But let's not pretend like the only barrier we face socially is our attitude toward stuttering. Plenty of people are impatient. Plenty of people mock us, judge us, and think we're stupid or weird or not worth talking to (of course, there's also plenty of kind, patient, and understanding people). Acknowledging that and/or being hurt by it is not wallowing in self pity, being lazy, or refusing to do anything to improve. It's literally just acknowledging and talking about a fact of our lives with people who have been through similar things and \*should\* understand. Also, I take issue with your suggestion that people acknowledge the hurt then "do something about it." I understand that sentiment when it comes to dating, but not other social woes. What do you suggest someone do about getting rejected from job after job? What do you suggest someone do about other people's reactions or comments to their stutter? "Change your attitude!" Sure, but that doesn't get someone a job, nor does it prevent people from being rude. It also doesn't put them in control. Because there are plenty of things in life that you can't control, and having a positive attitude doesn't change that. Again, I agree with your general message when it pertains to people here feeling generally hopeless and acting like they'll never have friends or a relationship. But I, again, think you're seriously overgeneralizing. And being incredibly arrogant to boot, in saying that the people "whining" here just haven't done anything to improve their circumstances - but when and if they do, they'll see you're right!