Hi, i did say that I will not form a healthy relationship even if I get a chance to form it. So no matter how much destructive it can be for me, I will not do it. And it's ok. Even if I miss any once in a million years opportunity, without any hesitation, i will take the pass. Because why should I form a relationship with anyone when I won't communicate properly? I'm so anxious and in their head all the time thinking what are they assuming of me if say something like this or that or when I'm unable to say anything! And I'm not running away from my problem, I'm solving it. All these days I thought I would meet new people and talk to them. But that never happened and it will never happen. By not creating any interaction between me and any other person, i will not need to feel anxious, sad, frustrated anymore. I will become calmer when I remove the expectations I expect while communicating with anyone. I cringe at myself all the time after I speak with someone else. I'm just too concerned about it. I was kinder and filled with positivity. But now I can't take the negative effects of the "keep trying" attitude anymore. I think in software jobs, meetings are held daily where it becomes necessary to interact. Virtually too. And yes it is among the highest paying jobs. But I don't want to be in such a place so I don't care how much I'll be paid.