I went through this feeling all my childhood and till mid 20s. I was always thinking if i did not have stammering i would achieve so much. For some reason i never accepted stammering and always tried to act as other people who were more chrismatic then me but did not have stammering. It did not work out as i thought but i kep that attitude all along. For some reason I never blamed stammering as the way i was but somehow i felt inferior and maybe even jeolous of people who were like i wanted to be. Then when i was 24, i moved abroad and started speaking English and somehow when i speak english i dont stammer. I still stammer in my native languge but in English or Polish i dont. But not stammering did not change my personality. Im still the same, trying to prove myself that im normal. Im 35 and settled now in Europe, have wife and kids made alot of money as well. Basically got rid of stammering as well but i have the same fucking personality i always had. So yeah i totally get what you are saying. It fucks you mentally everytime you stammer and it shape us a certain way or atleast i think it did to me.