I would've done it a long time ago, but I'm a muslim and we believe that if you commit suicide you'll go straight to hell. I even asked my teacher when I was 7 if I committed suicide now will I go to hell? (Because in islam before a certain age you don't have sins you're clean) and he told me yes (you can't tell if a person is going to hell or no in islam only God can judge but he did it so I don't commit suicide ) and I believed him. But hey don't despair, in life there is always good moments and bad moments, stay strong we're in this together. You should always fight and resist so that one day when you're safe and happy you can look to the past and say I did it all of this is the fruit of my work and no one else.