I want to become an interpreter, but my stutter is holding me back
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I want to become an interpreter, but my stutter is holding me back I have a gift with language learning. I pick them up quickly, retain information about grammar and verb conjugations, and I always nail written exams. I've had issues with speaking in my foreign languages in the past: I failed my AP Spanish test senior year of high school because I was too nervous to speak and said "um" for two minutes straight. I asked for accommodations throughout college Spanish, once I gained enough confidence and self-worth to know that I didn't deserve to be judged for my speaking ability in Spanish by my stutter. Somehow, my traumatic experiences all have to do with mostly Spanish, even though I also have done oral exams in Italian and Japanese. It's like my brain localized the issue to one language. Growing up was really tough, getting bullied and made fun of and treated like I was stupid--but my stutter wasn't even that bad! And it still isn't, objectively, that detrimental. It just makes me feel like *shit* about myself. It gave me self-worth issues as a child that I'm still trying to deal with as a twenty-something. I've grown my confidence a lot and believe in my inherent self-worth a lot more now, but I'm at a place in my life career-wise where I could transition into something I would actually love to do: interpret for Spanish speakers. Despite my history with it, Spanish is still my best foreign language. When I was speaking it daily at my previous job, I got pretty good with it and was steadily building my confidence every day. However, I left that job in April, almost a year ago, due to a toxic work environment that was grating me mentally. I feel like I'm back at square one with my confidence in my Spanish-speaking ability. Every time I stutter a little, it's a fight not to instantly feel horrible about myself. It's like getting re-triggered, but I'm also triggering *myself*\--and I know that isn't healthy. It just feels like some great, karmic joke that I should genuinely have a gift for foreign languages and be saddled with a speech impediment. I'm feeling pretty down about it atm, and I'm terrified it's going to stop me from working in my dream field (diplomacy) because I feel too bad about myself. Right now, I'm working in finance, and interpreting would be the next step I take to eventually get to my desired field, but part of me feels like I should just stay in finance and work with numbers.