I appreciate the comments. I thought of this because I’m realizing how much stuttering has impacted my life. I meant it as a metaphor for other people who, even with disabilities that I in no way want to diminish, still can get the things that they want out of life. I’ve tried for years to come to terms with my stutter. To accept it. But every time I block or stomp my feet hoping no one saw it, I leave the situation feeling like dirt. I don’t think I can ever love myself because I just can’t come to terms with my stutter. Even though not the only part, I feel like that’s a big part of who I am. I just can’t accept that feeling. It’s so abnormal and I just want to be normal. It might be crazy, but sometimes I think I’d be better off if I had something else wrong with me. I know that’s terrible to say and I apologize but I’m sure someone can empathize with that. I’ve been discovering more and more ways my speech impediment has impacted how I think and respond to people/the world. I’ve been a very self-reliant person, because I’ve always felt so different and like no one could understand just how bad it feels after a bad encounter. What I was really going through and how hard it is to just “brush it off.” The shame from the secondary behaviors. The guilt from whoever I’m talking to having to listen to me. The fear of judgement. It’s made me feel so alone. I feel like I’m always at war against it whenever I have to speak to another person. I’m constantly monitoring and watching people and their reactions. I’ve become so accustomed to what I feel like is rejection, that I’ve built up an incredibly bad defense mechanism and I feel like it’s made me a narcissist. I make everything about myself, whether good or bad. But I do want a life. I do want to be able to fall in love. I do want to have friends and trust people. I’m just afraid I won’t because of something that’s completely not my fault and I can’t do a damn thing about it.