Yes, well, this is somewhat an East/West divide, the huge cultural difference between conformity and individualism. Never that black and white, of course. And there are good and bad things about each way. As you can see on this thread, these social expectations are a problem for many people who stutter, no matter what country the live in. The expectations seem more confining in Indonesia, but I suppose the answer is the same as everywhere, if you can get there -- to reach a point where you care less how much you stutter, and what others think of you. I don't have a prescription for how to get to that point. Sometimes people will say some version of "just decide not to let it bother you." Eh....I think it takes more than that or you already would have done it. People do come to a state where they just don't care anymore, or care much less, but how they get there is not so straightforward. I do know that withdrawal, isolation does not help. Opposite of helps: Makes things worse, even though it can *seem* like an answer, like protection from the dreaded things. But it definitely leads to a much worse situation. But you are not withdrawing in any serious sense. You might want to withdraw from a party unseen, but at least you're at the party! Even I am tempted to say "screw them." Just screw them all. Don't sneak out, say good bye and if you stutter, that's their problem, not yours. They're going to gossip about you for that? Then they are small people that you do not want in your life. Yeah, despite what I just wrote above, THIS is what I really want to say. But, though not with stuttering -- with other things -- this advice when I have not been ready for it, has not been helpful. But....I don't know, maybe you are ready? It might take more to say (think!) "screw them" in your world, but it's still the same idea. Not EVERYONE in Indonesia is a gossip. We all have to find the exceptions. You know? Most people are not people we want to be close to. Oh, anyway, I don't know if any of this is helpful. I'm just talking.