Yeah, I have had those feelings, and still do 37 years later. What sucks is how my brain has normalized certain things people do without thinking. For example, having a conversation with a stranger and holding that conversation effortlessly. I simply can't do that, and I avoid it and my brain goes like, "yeah good, just avoid eye contact and move away, don't engage!". It sucks. I see my friends talking to strangers and its so effortless and to me, so remarkable, but when I mention it to them, they just shrug as if its not a big deal. It isn't. Not to them. It's a weird feeling. Regardless, while I do avoid social interaction, I have learned to keep those feelings aside when it becomes necessary to talk. Ordering at a restaurant, asking people for information, going to shops, calling customer service, arguing with a bank employee - I can do it, and I have, and I do stutter, but what must be done, must be done. In a way, I have expected that I will never be "normal" in a traditional sense, and I have to live with it. This is our fault in the stars and we can't do anything about it except push through and see where it takes us. Life is still worth living. Lots of people have stutter and are leading a comfortable life with many happiness and excitement. And so can you. Just find your path, find your people, and push through difficult situations in the best you can. If you find things that are too hard, there is no shame in asking people to speak for you. I regularly do it even now - I call a friend to handle tricky situations and they are happy to help. Sometimes clear communication is necessary and they know that and lend a helping hand whenever possible.