My stutter is destroying my relationship with my family, and I don't know what to do
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My stutter is destroying my relationship with my family, and I don't know what to do ^((English is not my first language)) Basically I can't have any conversation with my parents, I feel like my stutter is 10x worse with them than with other people (my speech therapist told me this was common. It really makes me sad, 5 days out of 7, I'm in my university appartment, so I don't see them much, but when I do I can't speak with them, plus my teenage brother is already making their life hard so I always hear them fight all the weekend, and I just want to go back to my appartment. I really try to have conversations with them, but it's hard, and during my bad days, I stutter at every word, and it's like hell for me, so I either stop talking and go to my room in the best case scenario, or I get very angry and hurt myself by hitting myself. The only "solution" I found is hitting the floor with my foot whenever I block, but it's a very bad habit, and it's not discreet at all. They are really trying to help, but they're not very good at it. Every time I get angry, my mum says "you have the solution in your hands", but that's not true, I try to take a breath before I speak, I try everything my speech therapist suggests I do, but when I have a bad day, I have a bad day, I can't do anything about it, but she doesn't seem to understand this, and explaining what I feel is soooo hard, and so painful. I feel so alone, I have no one to speak to about this, I'm making my parents lives' a living hell against my will, I'm really trying but it's so hard, and I don't know what to do, I feel lost, all of my friends have good relationships with their parents, they talk about their hobbies, how their days went, their relationships, etc. I just feel that my life would be so much better if I didn't stutter, I feel like it's a net negative in my life and I can't do anything about it, since it's a cerebral flaw according to my therapist. I've tried everything, but I'm so tired, I just can't live like this anymore, I need help, but I have no one to help me out.