That's actually exactly what I was thinking about earlier today. I was thinking why am I so worried about what others think about me? Why am I so scared ? Why is it not an issue for some people but so big of a subject for me? I think people create this entity in their mind,( at least I did) I call it "the others" and it's the average of people that someone interacts with. People usually feel confident if they are not afraid of it . They feel strong if they think they can beat it, etc. And for me, I believe that I will lose a hypothetical argument against it. I, hypothetically, can't defend myself against "the others". But other people, are willing to defend themselves and because of that they are taken seriously. But I simply don't have that ability. So not even my friends really respect me. All it takes is one moment of anger, and they stop being "mercyful" towards me. I said these to a friend of mine, and he said, you can still argue but you will stutter. But I don't think so. I think it's more like punching with a broken hand. Even if you are tough/crazy enough to do it, you will hurt yourself more than your opponent. So, maybe I'm pessimistic, but I don't think there is a "good" way I can win an argument. So from an early age, what I did was I tried to do things perfectly. So that if anyone blames me/ argues with me, then the reality can take my revenge (lol) but I am not perfect so as a second solution, I just avoided things that could put me in a hypothetical argument. I also tried to be good at other things, to bring up my level, so to speak. So that I don't have to argue with people. I wanted to be so good that no one can complain about anything but you can probably see how problematic that is.