Every time I stop by this subreddit I'm amazed how we all have the exact same experiences and fears and embarrassing situations like OP but more importantly how we all deal with them internally and externally. Like, no one knows what a mindfk dysfluency is. First, we go into situations that most others look forward to with a sense of dread and fear. Not necessarily bc we think we'll get made fun of but bc we usually have a lot to say, wish we could contribute to the convo and even fantasize about telling a story or a joke that has the whole table hanging on your every (fluent) word. We also hate that we come across as shy or quiet when it might not be who we are at all. And we WANT to be engaged but fear we can't. And this fear also stems from feeling _responsible_ for other people's discomfort. When a non-stutterer converses with a stutterer, no matter how kind and compassionate they are, it still puts them in an awkward position. Because ppl are never sure if they should help us finish the sentence that they can anticipate we are trying to get out or if it's more "correct" to let us push through on our own. Even the act of them being "polite" is weird bc we don't want others to have to adjust their behavior on our account. Further, we often look like we're in physical pain when blocking. The tics the winces the throat growls. Ppl just often don't know what to do. And we really don't want them to even have to consider what to do! We want to be judged by our character and the meaning of our words, not by the dysfluency. And finally, I suspect most ppl who might mock a bit or make a joke or say something like my brother always did: "C'mon, spit it out already! ", are doing what they're doing not because they want to make us feel super bad but bc they have no idea how super bad we ALREADY feel in the moment (like we're putting everyone out), how we feel on the way to the dinner, and how we feel after a bad blocking experience. They don't get that we are so hard on ourselves that even a harmless joke could destroy us. It's like, maybe i might make a joke about a friend who just dribbled water on themselves by accident. Cuz it's funny and no NBD. And in the same vain, others can find a stutter funny, bc you know what? It is! Like farts. Farts will never ever not be funny! I used to listen to Howard Stern Show and what are the funniest parts? The bathroom humor and when he has Stuttering John on! And I'm a freakin big time blocker/stutterer myself! My point here in this long comment I didn't expect to write(sorry) is that we can't change many of the fundamental things we are. Like the things that make us unique from one another, whether we like those things or dislike those things. But we CAN change how we perceive them. And whether we accept them or live fighting them everyday. I mean, imagine if you didn't really love your ears or your height or the way your nose is shaped. We all have these things. And we just basically learn to accept them. They aren't good or bad. They are just US. We look in the mirror and we see ourselves. But we don't (on average) spend every waking moment being fearful of our ears or nose or what someone thinks. Yes we are aware of these things but they are debilitating in the way we allow our dysfluency to be! Imagine that. Imagine if we bundled our dysfluency into the other things that "hey, we don't love this but it's not THAT big a deal". It's US. We like some things we love some things we hate some things. IMO, if you own these things, embrace these things, laugh at these things, be grateful for these things (have you ever met a dysfluent person who wasn't just the kindest most humble person you know? I haven't! ), and lucky that we don't have worse things and just be amazed that YO we are actually alive, how cool is that?? IMO when you do that with dysfluency, you win the struggle. It dissolves. The abstract nature of it just stops causing you harm. Like, you start every sentence to a stranger who doesn't know with " Hey, I stutter sometimes, so bear with me with what I'm about to say: Can I please have a cheeseburger and fries? " Or when you're with ppl that know, and you start blocking, just stop, laugh, curse your feeble brain and say "ok yo, imma start that one over. Cuz woah that was a trainwreck! " Or even - now hear me out - or even intentionally go out of your way to talk to a stranger at the grocery store and go ahead and stutter, say oops pardon me! I have a speech thing. What I was trying to say was, do you know what aisle the salsa is in? " It sounds awful I know. But do this once, twice, nine times and by the tenth it will feel so normal to you and like no big deal, cuz you'll see 90% of ppl will be nice, they'll laugh with you, not at you, and they will instantly forget about it because they'll be so enamored with your awesome personality. Plus, it takes pressure off them when, through no fault of their own, they don't really know what to do when you're having a moment of blocking or whatever. So yeah, just give it a shot. Like LEAN INTO THAT SH^T! Talk to a girl or guy you like and tell them right off the bat you stutter. I used to not even be able to get started but no joke, I used to carry around business cards I had made that said "Hi! If you're reading this it means my stutter is acting up. Thanks!" And I'd just show it to whoever tf I was trying to speak to. The moment I saw their eyes comprehend the sentence (after a slight moment of confusion lol) I would feel the pressure just melt away and I could start. Sometimes I'd still stutter but it felt orders of magnitude less of a big deal since I knew that they knew. Eventually I was fluent more than not in the convo. Not trying to tell you all this stuff will work or that it's the answer or that is right. Just sharing what I've come to realize for myself at my old ass age and hope maybe it could help some of you. Don't fear it. Don't fear yourself. There's plenty of way more important things to be fearful of (ahh! Bees! I hate fkin bees!). Instead try leaning in a bit. Don't hide from it. Announce it. It will get way easier each time. You won't stop having issues but you will FEEL 100x better about yourself, those around you and that knot we all get in our throats and guts will unravel and you might end up in a place where you have taken the power away from dysfluency and can now use that power how ever you please - to captivate, celebrate, communicate, or just use it up all for yourself to feel great. When you own your dysfluency, it no longer owns you. :-) Cheers!