She doesn't want negative energy around her children yet responds to your completely understandable grievance with hostility and aggression. Sounds like she has no empathy and is completely insensitive. I'm not surprised you left. I wouldn't want to be in that environment either. It's not good if you can't rely on family for support. Having said that, she does somewhat have a point that you should be able to order your own food. Even though it's noisy, distracting, anxiety-inducing and humiliating, you need to learn how to make your own way in the world. I've pointed at a menu item before because I knew I couldn't say it, but that's not ideal. Whatever tricks or techniques help you get the words out, practise and use them. You also need to learn to deal with negative perceptions about yourself - your own and those of others. Something like, 'That didn't go well, but it's gone worse before and hopefully will be better next time'. Take some time regularly to process unpleasant emotions. We all have them, and we all have to deal with them.