In response to the "Don't be a victim thread"

In response to the "Don't be a victim thread" That thread seemed to really hit a nerve with some people and I'd like to share my perspective, as I think the OP had a good idea but didn't really express it in the right way. Quick background: Stuttered since a little kid, was a covert stutterer most of my life, certain situations gave me extreme anxiety, didn't talk about my problem until my mid 20's, now I am 29 and speaking is a big part of my job, doing IT Networking, being on conference calls, etc. I still stutter, but my stuttering has lessened in severity. I no longer avoid words or speaking situations. I stutter openly, with eye contact. Now I stutter "forwardly" and no longer get long blocks, which I feel is a result of "holding back." I wasn't always this way, and there was a time in my life not too long ago where I could not have imagined the speaking situations I've triumphed over. Just last night I had to lead a conference call with 8 network engineers from around the world. The idea of not being a victim is good advice - but just telling people that doesn't help them. I used to have a lot of negative thoughts about my speech. If only I didn't stutter I could do X, etc. "I'm a freak" "People will think I'm weird if I stutter" "I can't stutter in front of my friends or family because they won't love me." "I can't show my true self." It's amazing the amount of negative thoughts that used to consume my life - stuttering used to control what I did, what I said. I was a victim of stuttering. Stuttering at its root is a avoidance behavior. Every time you avoid a speaking situation or substitute a word or use some other trick to get a word out - you are consciously or subconsciously reinforcing your stutter. The way to stutter less (perhaps some day to speak fluently the vast majority of the time) is to stop avoiding. To attack every speaking situation with courage. My initial phase was where I decided I would say exactly what I wanted to say, whether I stuttered or not. I was amazed at the times where I knew I was going to stutter but only stuttered mildly as opposed to the long blocks I was used to getting. This is because I was attacking my stutter. I was on the offense. I was no longer the victim. Stuttering isn't something that was happening to me - it was something I was doing. Something I could modify. Within a few days of doing this I noticed my speech improved. I still had a lot of fear and anxiety about the phone so I decided to use this App called Wakie to just talk to random people from around the world. I disclosed that I was a person who stuttered who was working on his speech. Never once did I talk to a person who wasn't supportive and even told me I was courageous for working on my speech. There were times that I stuttered A LOT. But the more I practiced, stuttering forward and not avoiding, and allowed myself to say exactly what I wanted to say - the easier it got. It happens faster than you will expect. I still avoid from time to time. Sometimes it is easier to order food on Grubhub than pick up the phone. But other times I choose the harder route because I know its good for me. I know I am going on the offense and beating stuttering - not being a victim of stuttering. This post got entirely too long, but I felt sharing what has happened to me could help some of you. I saw a lot of hurt people in the other thread, and I know how it is to be in that pit of negativity. I was there for most of my life. There is a way out though. Learning to stutter less and live with less anxiety is a process that takes time though. If I look back this started years ago for me when I first decided to talk to my parents about stuttering and seek therapy. I did a two week intensive program at AIS in NYC which broke down a lot of initial barriers - it was invaluable to me. I also had an experience on psychedelic mushrooms where I felt myself go back to those hard stuttering times as a kid and really love that little kid, love the stuttering part of myself, and release a lot of negativity that was stored in my body (this is just how it felt subjectively.) In short, I think the intent of the dude who started the other thread was in the right place. He probably went through a similar process as me in working to overcome this problem. I still stutter, but it is getting better everyday. Now I am on the offense, and you can be too. Baby steps, pick up the phone and order a pizza, stutter your way through it, and see how good you feel when your done. You can work your way up to harder and harder speaking situations. You will surprise yourself at what you can accomplish. I no longer believe anything is out of reach for me now. My thoughts are mostly positive in regards to stuttering.