Thanks for the positive vibes brother!. And yeah I've become a little more self accepting, caring less & go after what I want more in my late 20s early 30s. But part of my problem is pride maybe. Because of trauma of being ridiculed relentlessly as a kid & having to fight for any respect at all has carried over to adulthood. I can't force myself to do things I need to do if I know from intuition the people there will probably disrespect my stuttering, I don't care that I stutter but I do care alot about being seen as a clown..I take care of myself & am in good shape & I try to be disaplined in life so I can't take being seen as less by others just because of a minor handicap I can't control. But avoiding certain people like this out of anxiety & not wanting confrontation is slowly ruining my life financially & socially.