Hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. I’m currently in grad school to become a speech therapist/SLP (so feel free to tell me to fuck off lol) but I have 2 recommendations for you to look into: **1) Check out this totally free book called Advice to Those Who Stutter** available in its entirety [right here](https://www.stutteringhelp.org/Portals/English/book0009_may2010.pdf) Each chapter is written by an SLP who stutters themselves and it results in a combination of some really good clinical and personal advice. The main take aways I got from it: A) Every single person experiences normal instances of disfluency, so try not to think of yourself as a “stutterer”, and others as “non-stutterers”. B) Allow yourself to acknowledge even partial successes. A stutter at 50% tension is better than one at 100%, no? If you try a fluency method or technique and it doesn’t work flawlessly, but you can tell it helps you to manage it, run with that. C) THE MOST IMPORTANT IMO: If you really want to “get rid of it” (ie. be as consistently fluent as possible) you will absolutely have to accept and commit to the fact that you will need to make yourself uncomfortable. This means pseudo-stutters around increasingly more high-anxiety situations/people, deciding in the moment that you will not allow avoidance behaviors: every single time the opportunity presents itself, put yourself in that feared social situation anyway, even if it’s the last thing you want to do. Don’t just endure it but welcome it as a challenge to practice your new techniques. You need to experience yourself performing fluency even in your most dreaded scenarios. And you will if you keep practicing in them. But you gotta be there and do it. Repeatedly. Keep #2 very much in mind while you do this. And **2) If you’re up for trying therapy again, check out if your new university has a department of Communication Sciences and Disorders.** If they do it’s extremely likely that they have a clinic free to the public so that grad students can get experience (with supervision from SLP professors of course, many of whom have doctorates in the field). There may be a waiting list, but in my experience, other university students get priority (and stuttering therapy practice is in high-demand in the university clinic setting, so I’m sure they’d bend over backwards to have you come). I know you said 8 years of speech therapy didn’t help, but stuttering is quite different from other communication disorders in that we know for a fact there is a personal motivational component. That’s not to say any given adult who stutters and is motivated will magically stop stuttering with therapy, but I think if you tried again as an adult you very well could have different results. It’s a very intensive kind of program to expect a kid to keep up with, especially if they don’t yet see the entire purpose of attending therapy. But most importantly, I only suggested these therapy-related things because it sounds like you’re in distress over this. In reality there’s nothing wrong with stuttering. Many, many people who stutter live their whole lives just as happy and successful as anyone else. If you want therapy to change it, it’s there, but if you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Therapy can be expensive, time-consuming, and/or hard work with a slowwwww payoff sometimes. I think the stuttering community sees the worst of this honestly, because people are often forced into therapy young (again before they really understand the impact of stuttering on their lives themselves) and then forced to keep going even if little improvement is seen. I don’t blame anyone for being wary or put off of it altogether, but it’s unfortunate because I think an adult willingly coming to therapy can do wonders in terms of progress.