You're not alone I am also suffering alot from the mental side of stuttering and I'm barely holding myself, it's truly a challenge for anyone with stutter to survive, but really we should think isn't it better than someone who is paralyzed? Deaf? blind? Or even dumb? It surely is, we should be grateful at least this is our problem, I'm also struggling a lot, every time before I speak I think 10 times about what I will say or will I stutter if I say this word or not. It's really energy draining. But we should survive man this is how we are , we aren't worse than anyone everyone has a flaw and our is stuttering. I might've thought about suicide but it's never worth doing that to your precious soul.