How terrible that you were abused in this way. Probably, your mom went through horrible experiences herself, because how else could someone end up this callous and heartless? But, that doesn’t help you feel better. If your mom has any shred of human empathy, she must know on some level how much she has hurt you… which would make it very hard for her to engage in a conversation about it. I wouldn’t expect an apology or anything fruitful to come out of a conversation. Hopefully you can make something good out of this, by learning the value of empathy and treating other people the right way, and break the chain of abuse.