I think trying to find some compassion or empathy for your Mother like trying to rationalize why she acted that way towards you is a very healthy way to try to move on. At least she's trying to repair your relationship now, hard as that may be. If I know I'm going to have trouble during a presentation, I always mention that I stutter upfront. Then, when it happens I make a joke and tell people that my brain is experiencing "technical difficulties". I'm a female programmer so this joke always kills the tension! Just remember - you can do this!!! You can do anything ❤ Stuttering does not define you.