Totally understand the frustration... not being able to speak your thoughts can be brutal, especially when it seems so effortless for everyone else. I would try and meet and possible befriend as many fellow PWS (people who stutter) as you can -- ideally in person, but digitally in a community like this one works too. I think once you hear the stories, and see all the different lives that these people lead, I think it'll change your outlook on life slightly. Give yourself a chance!