I have felt the same way, I'm 20 years older and am happy. Here's what I did. I'm a cleaning person. Yes not an impressive position but I don't have to talk. Lots of people engage me with friendly smiles and compliments. I am a friend. No I'm not hanging with the elites, nothing to feed my ego. I look for those who need my listening ear and my kind heart. I never let anyone take advantage of me though ( anymore). I am married. We celebrated 19 years last month. It was an unexpected relationship that started when I met him the day after I tried to commit suicide and chickened out. I have two sons who are my whole world and if one of them killed themselves, well I have no words for that pain. Love to you.