Yeah I’ve gone through the tensing as well. I used to be depressed about it, but now I just brush it off or get angry at the occasional idiot. The lucky thing is at this point in time in the world, everything offends everyone. There’s a lot more leniency towards people that stutter especially in the workplace. Making fun of people like us is more like a hate crime these days than a joke. I’m not depressed anymore, but I do wonder if anti depressants would work like they do for you. I know for a fact when I’m tired or getting sick my stuttering gets horrible. But nowadays I can hide it pretty well.