How you look when you stutter

How you look when you stutter I've stuttered since I was 16, was basically suicidal from 16-23 and have only just been able to get by in life now when I'm 27. I still stutter but I never thought it was noticeable apart from certain moments. Someone recently asked me to make a video message for a birthday and after my first record I was absolutely mortified at how obvious it looked. You could see my face scrunch up and the words failing to leave my mouth. Was anyone else surprised at how they looked when they stutter? I feel really shit. My heart's hammering.