Thank you for this. I used to think I was alone in thinking that the act of speaking itself just exhausted me. I felt selfish and thought I was making excuses for myself. I got back from a weekend with my extended family who I haven't seen in years. I had a number of panic attacks too while I was there. I also live out of state so a plane trip was involved. I have basically slept all weekend and I'm going to try not to feel bad about that. I understand why you're sad but maybe look at the bright side - it sounds like you are able to control your stutter! I know how unbelievably hard that is, good for you!