Bro, I’m North African as well (Egyptian), and also been stuttering since like 5, I feel like our stories match up a little bit. Im also really fucking talkative like you and HATED my stutter because I used to want to be the class clown as a kid (and I was in some years). I would not be able to count how many times I could not say a joke in front of a group of friends or not been able to answer the question in class even though you were smarter than anybody else and you knew the answer. I consider myself kind of like an “extroverted loner” even tho that don’t make sense AT ALL lol (oxymoron?) I am also 20. For my case, I don’t think a particular incident created it or anything, I think it’s been life long. Anyways bro, I know exactly how you feel. I used to look in the mirror and bawl my eyes out thinking about the fact that I couldn’t speak normally. I would definitely suggest going to a speech therapist, having somebody you can consistently speak to will not only help your speech but also your mental health. On Late October of 2019 I got hospitalized for a panic attack and was prescribed anti-anxiety and anti depressants. While I didn’t notice a difference, I was assigned a case manager and just having a person to talk to without any judgment was great - that’s what you’ll get at a speech therapist. Also, I received speech therapy sometime when I was in elementary school, and I’m definitely sure that helped me become more confident and fluent. You NEED to do speech therapy. At least for a couple of months. You’ll see progress and you’ll be in a better space mentally. Your confidence will skyrocket and your speech will also improve as well. I know exactly how you feel. I still feel it everyday. I’m a 20 year old guy, living in Toronto. I know exactly how you feel everyday. The embarrassment when you stutter, feeling pathetic and feeling like shit when you can’t get a simple sentence out. Being depressed and having anxiety to go out and be social. Stressing about your career, bc you feel like you’re incapable of holding a job or even landing a job in the first place. I know that feeling of despair, hopelessness, and loneliness that the only thing that makes it feel better is to cry your eyes out. I know the feeling of not knowing whether anybody could ever love you or if your kids would be embarrassed of the way you spoke. I know the constant weight on ur shoulders. Everyday. My stutter is/was moderate, severe when it wants to, otherwise I’m mostly in control with me stuttering more when talking to certain people or situations. The biggest things I’ve been doing to improve and “glo up” recently is to use my stutter as a way to focus on other parts of my life. For example, I started eating healthier, drinking more water, working out, ect... I used my stuttering as a motivation and fuel to prove everybody wrong. My number 1 tip would be to start working out and building muscle. Once you get confident in your strength and appearance Wallahi your confidence will skyrocket. Once I started doing this, I met a girl, and now she’s been my girlfriend for around 9 months now. Trust me bro, i promise you, I know exactly how you feel. Your confirmed is going to improve and your speech will also improve as well Few other tips; - Talk slowly and breathe, you mentioned you run out of breath when you speak and this happens to me sometimes as well! This means you’re not breathing from your diaphragm and you should be taking more pauses when you speak and breathe. Stuttering is all about tension in your mouth, that’s what causes you to stutter. So, the more you breathe and relax and make the muscles in your mouth not be tenses, the less you will stutter. - Formulate what you want to say and arrange it in your head before you say it. You should already know what you’re about to say, the main words in the sentence or phrase you’re about to say, and have it organized. Therefore, when it’s time to speak, you’re not speaking randomly and praying that you don’t stutter. It’s more like taking your time with what you’re going to say and being patient with your speech. This is one of the biggest tips: - DON’T PANIC WHEN A STUTTER OR BLCOK IS COMING. You experience a stutter everyday so you have to realize - it’s nothing new. Instead, use certain strategies such as breathing when you speak, early onset, ect. There are many strategies to improve your stutter, you can find most of them on YouTube. Trust my I used to stutter WAY more than I do now. Now my stutter is pretty mild-moderate, where probably at least 75 percent of my speech is pretty fluent. I hope this can help bro, I tried my best to type this out. If you need more help, you’re always welcome to pm me. From a fellow Arab 20’s year old to another. p.s. I also feel very uncomfortable when I see or hear people stutter lol. It’s normal.