This can't go on anymore I'm DETERMINED to change - my story as a stutterer.

This can't go on anymore I'm DETERMINED to change - my story as a stutterer. Hi everyone I just want to share my story. I don't remember when exactly I started stuttering. When I was a kid I was very fluent and most of the time outgoing, I started stuttering then but for a very short period of time. I don't remember that very well but me and my mum went to speech therapist and she said that I am not stuttering. But when I grew up 8-9 years old I let my stuttering to grow. I was very ashamed when I had to talk in front of all the class about something. Or when I had to make presentations. When I was 11 years old I think it became worse. Every change of the environment triggered me to be stressed and stuttering. I changed very much. When I was 14years old I had to go to study in high school. I told my mum how worried and anxious I am and she decided to talk with the teacher and tell her that I am anxious about talking and that I am stuttering a little bit. The first day in that school the teacher asked me to read loudly (everyone had to read but I was first). I was very anxious and it was obvious I was traumatized, but I managed not to stuter that much. The first month going to school was a huge challenge. I was worried and my stomach was constantly turning over as I went to school. I avoided the other boys and seemed to prefer female company. Most of the girls liked me, made hints at me, but I was so worried and insecure that I treated them like friends. I think I even used my friendships with girls as a salvation so that everyone wouldn't think I was a loser. I even developed arrogance as a defense mechanism. But the stuttering remained when I talked to strangers or in front of many people. When I talked to close people I was used to, I usually didn't stutter. I felt a lot of frustration and self-pity in connection with the missed opportunities regarding my love life . I was complexed by some guys, although everyone thought I was very cool and beautiful .. I seemed to envy the confidence of others. ​ Then I went to university. There I befriended a girl. Again, I seemed to avoid having male friends. Most of the girls liked me, but they quickly lost interest because I was acting weird. Now I am young (in middle 20s) and I have two kids. I have a job and I really feel that I improved myself I stutter less. I started mindfulness meditation, breathing techniques, trying to relax everytime when I speak. I really felt the progress in myself. I became more brave and that helped a lot. But lastly I pulled out the short stick and had to make a presentation to the whole company. It was online but I was very very very anxious I couldn't relax since hours before the presentation. I was stuttering very much almost on every word. When I finished I felt awful. I was feeling like a looser. I feel like now all my friends from work now see how anxious I am (they probably know that sometimes I'm stuttering but they have never seen me like that and I was feeling shameful) .When the online meeting ended I was crying. I was so ashamed and frustrated. I feel that stuttering has affected many aspects of my life, starting with missed love opportunities to affect my professional development negatively. After that this made me angry and I really am determined to improve myself. If someone has any advice I will be grateful.Thank you