I think we need to try to downgrade your mind from a Ferrari to a Corolla (in speed:)). It seems like you're suffering from some huge levels of overthinking, anxiety and insecurity. But look at it from this angle, he will understand. 10 months is 1% of a human beings life, quite a lot. A lot of people set their minds to "a person will never be the same irl as on the internet", it's partly true. When not seeing the other person you're relaxed mostly and not worrying to much about the responses of another person when you perform social actions. It could, maybe will be awkward, but it will bring out laughs. You too seem very tight and that being in each other's presences brings a natural, loving feeling. If something would go wrong and you can't speak fluently or you feel ill, signal that to him. Leave the restaurant and try whatever comes to your minds. But you'll have to walk into that restaurant with the mindset that you couldn't have planned your behavior or tonight's events. You'd probably think this and that will happen but you need to clear your mind, it's a lot to ask I know but for live anything is possible. One thing that I don't know is if you've told him is your situation. But you'll need to let go and give your trust to the chances this night. Hope something in all of this helped and good luck!