From crying so much this morning, my eyes still hurt

From crying so much this morning, my eyes still hurt Hi all. Thanks for your replies in advance. I posted a while ago on here detailing my situation but I need some more advice. I had a mental breakdown - I couldn't take it anymore. I'm tired of living my life everyday. It even caused my mom to cry and she never cries. It all started when I was trying to tell my father something and he yelled "talk properly!" He does this often and I told my mom that it puts pressure on me to be fluent and she said don't pay attention to him. I exploded and told her how I feel - I'm so frustrated that I can't get a job because of my speech. How is anyone supposed to hire me when I can't talk properly on the phone and maybe to customers? I've had jobs before but it seems like the companies I've been applying to recently all want phone interviews. Rejection after rejection. I hate the way I am and the fact that I can't speak fluently. I said "why me?" What did I do to deserve this? I try to live a good life because I believe in karma but communication is so essential to everyday life, who I want to be and what I want to do. It all started when my cousin (visiting from another country) asked me about it. First person ever to ask me about it (this happened a few years ago). He said "it's not normal. It's weird. You need to change. Change the way you talk" and he said repeat after me blah blah blah. Faster. Then, last year - I had two job interviews - one was for a fast food joint and another a retail place at the mall. Fast food - to experiment, I asked at the end is there anything I can do to improve or become better at and the person said I'm not sure you can do the job because of the way you talk. I can't get a job even at a damn fast food joint and I went to a top 20 college. The retail one had me not apply for jobs for a while and reduce my self esteem. First time a job person had asked me at the end about my speech and he said "you do realize you have to talk to people right" in a sarcastic tone and I ran and cried. Two days ago, I had a phone interview for a company and it was a great opportunity. Worst phone interview I had. Normally on the phone, I'm decent but this one was bad. The last phone interview I had prior to this I could tell the lady was turned off because she cut it off short (I've had phone interviews before they're not this short) and said we have other candidates and hung up. So I tried an experiment, I emailed the person and I told him about my speech impediment and he called back but I didn't answer bc I was scared. IDK if my speech is the reason why I am not getting hired but it's really holding me back from being who I want to be. I have no friends. In college, I would ask people to hang out but no one would follow through (maybe they got turned off by my speech) I'm afraid I'm gonna die alone bc I can't find a guy I like who will accept me and more importantly I can't find a job. I'm afraid if I tell the interviewer beforehand, they will 1) go on with the interview and not hire me bc of my speech 2) cut the interview shorter than planned and not pick me 3) not even want to do the interview. Also, I don't want to tell the interviewer because I don't want that to be the reason why I'm hired. If I'm not hired, I don't want the interviewer to tell me that oh it's not because of your speech it's bc we found a better candidate. Of course there would always be someone better than me. Plus, whatever the reason may be, I don't really know the truth. I don't want to hear that it's the reason why I'm not getting a job because I can never get a job! I don't want to hide or run away from the problem anymore. I know there are people who are open about it and accept it but that's so hard. I don't want to be seen as disabled or different. I want to be normal and I want to be accepted. Idk what to do anymore. If it won't go away, I want to embrace it but I can't accept the fact that it's real.