Finally accepting I (19F) have a stutter. Where do I go from here?

Finally accepting I (19F) have a stutter. Where do I go from here? I have no history or memory of stuttering in my childhood. I knew that something was wrong when I was around 13-14 and my throat would suddenly freeze up mid conversation. I once told my 3 closest friends that sometimes I had this thing where I could not get the words out but other than that, it never affected my life. I had to give a speech when I was 14 in order to pass an exam and I begged the teacher to let me miss it and told her I have this thing where I ‘can’t speak’. I never knew it was a stutter. Nevertheless, I gave the speech and it was perfect, I froze once for a split second towards the end and that was it. I never thought much about my stutter. I knew my brother had a similar thing where he froze and assumed it was because of our deeply traumatic childhood. My other brother speaks perfectly normal and he was not raised with us. My speech blocks only affected me when I had to read aloud in class (which I refused twice in all my years at school) and when I had to speak in my native language. Some days i’d be very fluent and have little to no speech blocks, others i’d freeze occasionally but I was a very social person, I had many friends and nobody could ever tell I had an issue with my speech. I had a job last year where I became close with one of my co-workers who has a mild but obvious stutter. After that, I began to research and its formed into some sort of obsession. I told him I think I have what he has and he would always say i’m fluent and sound nothing like him. I’m always on this subreddit and constantly riddled with anxiety. I’ve had more speech blocks in the past year than I ever have. I’ve been depressed and going through stuff outside of this and it’s making me worse. I’m rethinking going to university and my career options. I’m scared i’ll never be able to speak freely again. Everybody on here says you have to accept it and move on but how? Nobody even knows I have a stutter. When I freeze because of my speech blocks it sounds like I don’t know what i’m talking about. I have so much to say, i’m intelligent and highly social and this is holding me back. I can’t share all the things I want to say and i’m tired of substituting words and pretending I forgot what i’m going to say. I’ve tried to let myself stutter freely but i’m so terrified of it. Am I less likely to ever improve because I am a covert stutterer? Will I have to deal with this for the rest of my life? I’m on a gap year and I avoided customers service jobs for so long because of my anxiety about freezing but I forced myself into hospitality and I did well, I froze a few times but I settled. I want to get a desk job with my cousins where they answer phone calls all day but I’m terrified. I’m sick of doing jobs where I have to work hard just to avoid customer service jobs. Please help me. Where do I go from here? Am I doomed? How do I stop obsessing over every word I say and trying to appear fluent? It’s making me worse. I miss being oblivious and not knowing I had a stutter, at least then I was confident.