I once had a speech therapist (as an adult) who asked me to rate my level of fluency out of 10. I said 3 or 4 as it was fairly severe at the time. She asked me what would be an acceptable level of fluency. Being realistic about the unlikelihood of being completely fluent, I said 7. Now, the speech therapy itself wasn't very helpful, but the idea of what I would be happy with in terms of improvement stuck with me. I used to hate my stammer, especially when it was severe and the very act of talking to someone was a traumatic ordeal, but I learned to accept it for what it was because to change any situation you have to acknowledge the reality of it. I also didn't set myself up for failure by aiming for complete fluency, but I would allow myself to feel pleased when a talking situation showed that I was more fluent than before. In trying to figure out my stammer for myself after giving up on various kinds of speech therapy, I focused on specific issues which I believed contributed to dysfluent speech. This was largely psychological, so it also led me to working on personal problems, many of which were connected to speech by way of social anxiety, fear of judgement etc. I'd say I surpassed a rating of 7, to 8 or sometimes even 9 if things are going well. My stammer is more of an incovenience than the disability it once was. And as it was very much tied to self-esteem, in terms of quality of life, that's got to be good. So my hate of my stammer instigated a journey to try to overcome it, with fluency being preferable but not essential, and acceptance as a necessary part of the process. I don't equate a love of fluency with a hatred for my stammer. I have an appreciation for fluency because of how much I suffered for so long, something most people without a stutter probably take for granted, especially if they haven't been close to someone who struggles with their speech. It's great to celebrate little wins. Hatred led to anger, and that was a motivating factor in trying to change things, but I've done enough psychological work on myself to be able to let those emotions go. They are unsustainable and exhausting.