I know how you feel man. I was bullied back in high school for my stammer. Was made to say long difficult words so they could laugh. Because of that I have an anxiety over speaking. Even to my girlfriend, I sometimes hate the idea of speaking to her cause while I know she won't laugh or judge me for it I always have this feeling lingering over me of "What if she laughs" You're not alone man. If you want to talk to someone feel free to message me.