A lot of things you said resonated with me, mostly the anxiety stuff, along with being unable to express yourself, that's definitely my biggest gripe with having a stutter, feeling stifled emotionally and being unable to fully express myself at my heart's content, but then again it's almost like i'm doing it to myself. I never comfortably stutter. Whether it's cultural or just in human nature that when you are unable to speak or have severe difficulties, you're instantly discouraged, defeated and left unable to even express that except in non-verbal form (body language, general mood). IDK man, I would love to be able to explain clearly what goes on in my head when I can't get something out and get that instant rush of dread, regret, defeat, fuckin everything negative I can think of.