Have you ever explained it to them, just like that? That you cannot really control it and that their comments are frustrating to hear? If you have and they still behave like this, I’m sorry to tell you that you have a toxic family, even if “they are nice most of the time”. If they just tell you to “talk normally and clearly” after you explain that it is not easy for you, isn’t it kinda like the equivalent of seeing a person crying their eyes out and telling them “but don’t cry!” Or seeing a person who struggles with overweight and saying “you have to lose weight!” It’s like, isn’t it obvious that if people could just go and do so, they would? Isn’t it like an over simplification of the problem because of a lack of a real interest in what is causing the issue or how complex can the solution be? I know the feeling because I have dealt with a family like this. And if this is where you are at, the sooner you come to peace that you are better off on your own, the better things will get for you.