I would say incorporate more pauses and reduce your speech rate since you clutter. You may have to cut out some content or simplify what you want to say or re-priortize what needs to be said or highlighted. Maybe be very brief and direct with your speaking points. Also I'd keep going with the re-takes until you get a satisfactory one. Don't give up. Do what you gotta do. It doesn't have to be perfect. It only has be clear and concise. I'd get second opinion from two people like close family members before posting it as well.