Oh, this wasn't about how the _lady_ or the _friends_ felt. It was about focusing on the good things we can achieve and experience in our lives. So yes, this is exactly about changing how _we_ feel - by changing our perspective. Or to put it more in your words, fixating on the bad things _is_ an underlying issue. Sometimes we need treatment for that sort of thing. But sometimes we just need to keep reminding ourselves that there's a choice to be made, every time we're rummaging around in our emotional inventory. Not saying it's easy, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep working on it.