I don't, instead I own it. It's a part of my identity. It has been for as long as I can remember, 41 now. Cancer survivor. That took three years of my life from age 32 to 35. When it was over I had a radically new perspective. Something like a belief system. It came from reading Albert Camus' Myth of Sisyphus, then reading dozens of articles and videos on the subject online. Camus likens the human condition to the greek myth of Sisyphus, a mortal who angered the Gods so much the Gods doomed him to roll a giant boulder up a hill, every time it hit close to the top it would roll all the way back and Sisyphus would repeat the task of rolling the boulder up a hill forever. The lesson being respect the gods but Camus, a 20th Century French philosopher used it to explain the human need to find meaning in an apparently meaningless universe. Sound familiar? Camus offers the Capital A Absurd. Accepting we are a conscious living self aware part of a vastly random unfathomable universe. That's the baseline. From there you decide what holds meaning for yourself. If you want to collect stamps, play Xbox or take up line dancing, whatever it is. There is no god to answer to as you are the god of your own existence. What does it have to do with Sisyphus? Camus says people don't understand Sisyphus. One must imagine Sisyphus happy. Those five words found me on a hospital bed and stuck when the tumor came out of my throat. I ended a long term relationship because it wasn't what I really wanted, I changed career because I wanted to work at home. I love on my own with a cat and have the peace I never had as a stuttering kid sharing a room in a bungalow and attending a hellish school. It's all about environment. And to figure a path that gets you to the end smiling happy. I couldn't stop thinking when I was sick that if I died I would die screaming. Fuck that. I decide what has meaning, control my environment and appreciate most days it's me and my cat in solitude. I cut out 95 percent of friends etc and have infinite time for the precious few, and my family. Shame is an idea. We come up with it and buy into it. I don't know much but I appreciate that my stutter is a part of who I am. Some days it never appears, others it does but my control over my life and acceptance that it is a nuance of my personality and not what defines me. Define it and own it and never apologise for it. Peace and love and self determination my me and my cat gizmo