I understand what you're going through. I sometimes have good periods of fluency and then other times my speech is so bad I give up talking for a while. I'm slowly getting accustomed to the embarrassment I experience when I stutter but the actual action of talking is very exhausting. In gaming, I absolutely despise playing when there is high latency. It makes the entire experience unpleasant. That's how I see my speech...as high latency. It just isn't fun to talk when I can barely say anything without stuttering. And as far as relationships go, I'm 27 and have never been on a date. So don't feel bad.