I wish I didn't exist.

I wish I didn't exist. I'm 23 which is way too old to still have the insecurities of a teen. I might be old enough, but mentally I'm still 16. I've emotionally and socially stunned myself, made myself retarted all because I was afraid and now I've missed all the big milestones and internally I'm a mess. I'm so SO behind compared to my peers. Failing college on top of that. I feel defeated. It's not the stutter anymore, it's the lack of experiences, the akwardness, the anxiety, the low self confidence. I feel like people can see through me and sense how stupid and weird I am. I feel like I'll never be a normal fullfiled adult.