One must imagine Sisyphus happy Trust me. I know. Now 42 and so much of my life is exactly as you describe. Those five words are from Camus. It's the only philosophy I hold to these days. It saved me after cancer and helped me take control of my life. Google the words, watch YouTube videos, figure it out for yourself. And I'd recommend watching the music video Hi Ren by Ren right to the end. Listen to every word and feel not alone. You are never alone. Besides your cat rally does need you, my cat told me to say that 🙏