Haven’t had those type of feelings in awhile, but I am too often hard on myself and disappointed thus(?). At this point, I would rather be embarrassed then hold back from confidently stuttering cause I really can’t talk just sometimes lol. I get excited and can stutter. As for the suicidal thoughts, those appear too. I let them go like the wind. It’s a feeling, and is temporary I have found in my experience. As brass as it is, be grateful you lived another day to stutter. I love you stranger, live on!