postr/StutterNovember 23, 2024

Self doubt manifestation causing physical stutter/blockage?

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Content

Self doubt manifestation causing physical stutter/blockage? This is a hypothesis I've had for a while now and wanted to propose it to see if others feel a similar sensation and how often. Basically, I might be talking just fine then have to elaborate and start telling the story. Instantly there is some self doubt, do they wanna hear this whole thing, should I say it now, and it's happening just as I'm saying it so I feel the interference and stutter blockage coming through as if my own self doubt manifested into physically trying to stop me. I get over this because I'm so used to the sensation that I start pulling back in the moment playing with my feelings, feeling the reminder that it's no big deal and I don't need to worry or go so deep into this in a short time. There's a lag between that and the stutter wearing off but it does wear off. This used to happen in introductions but i've gotten used to intro's and am comfortable with them with almost no self doubt. If it manifests I'm ready to again control my feelings and move on easily. But the feelings manifesting into the physical stoppage seems so uncanny. One way I remember testing this with friends on discord and if you want you can try this with a friend is, we agreed the moment the person stuttered we would leave the chat but he has to keep saying what he was about to say. He played the recording of it, he began blocking, the moment we left and there was no one to talk to even though he was recording, he went fluent and finished it carefreely. No more doubt? Now the irony is if I'm recording for youtube or something, I may still stutter even though no one is there. I still can feel the doubt and stutter creep in just from knowing this isn't just between me but will be listened to. The interesting thing is it doesn't seem to matter what I say. Some words may trigger it maybe because emotions are tied to memory so past doubt and experience creep up on the body the same way post traumatic stress would when it's not real, not something we are really going through in the moment, just a memory but still triggers the bodily reactions and nerves. So the hypothesis is that stuttering isn't any word, phrase, or anything originating from a physical difficulty with a sound but rather originating from how we feel about it. That's not to say it isn't real and in our heads, far from it because others can feel any which way and those that don't stutter don't get a physical block/stoppage/stutter from it but our speech begins to physically get interrupted unwantedly. Can others relate to this and if so...what can we take from it?

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Anticipating StutteringAvoidance & SubstitutionOverthinking & MonitoringAnxiety & Social Judgment

Codes (3)

anticipationperceived_judgmentpropositionality