My story. Hard road to hapinness with stuttering

My story. Hard road to hapinness with stuttering Hi everyone! I am 23 years old. I want to share with you the story of my fight against stuttering. I have been stuttering since I was a little girl. Two years ago, right after I finished my undergraduate program, I decided to do something with my speech impediment. Of course there were some previous tries to cure it but nothing helped. Psychologists, hypnotherapis, different speech therapists and even acupuncture did not give any results. I accepted that stuttering is a part of me and gave up on many opportunities in life because of my disability to express my real thought. My stutter was not very obvious, so I could pretend like I am thinking or thinking up a word. Or I could rapidly exchange a “hard” word with an “easy” one. You know what I am talking about :) In short, I was embarrassed of my stuttering, was very shy and did not like people. It seemed to my like all of them are rude and willing to hurt my emotionally. After four years in a university where stutter impede my educational process in many different ways I found a speech center. This center proposed a speech without stuttering after two years treatment. There were some videos of cured people as a prove of method’s success. I took a shot and trusted people who work in this organization. What can I say. It’s been a year and a half since I began the journey of change. It is super hard. I almost do not stutter anymore, but I still need to control myself in some situations. This method implies that you should interact with people every f***ing day! 20 different people should is a minimum in a day. First week you are not allowed to talk with anyone. You can communicate through paper and a pen. Even on streets. *Do you want to ask where a post office is?* Ok, just write it down and show it to this gloomy man. *Are you scared of him?* Excellent. That is what you need. You need fear, new emotions and situations. Just try to relax and look in the eyes (you might notice that we do not like looking in the eyes when we stutter). After that you can pronounce some words while opening you mouth widely on vowels. And with each passing day, week and month your speech is getting closer to normal pace and style. I want to say it again: it is very hard. Many people leave because they are not ready for such radical methods. But many people go to the end and get new opportunities in the lives. You just had a little glimpse on the whole process. The idea of this message is to show you that there is a way through it but it is a hard one. You should be brave and be ready to face you fears. Get out of you comfort zone. There is no other way. All this things like going to a stranger with a stupid question give you a confidence that you are able to talk properly in a calm way. The most important part is to be ready to change yourself. And I don’t mean your way of speaking. I mean you way thinking about yourself and about other people. Embrace who you are, do not feel embarrassed. The hardest part for me was (and still is) to say others that I stutter and right now I am trying to deal with it. There have been some hard stuttering people in my life. But they were happy. One of them was a respected professor who even gave lectures in my university. He was not ashamed of it. So just embrace who you are or do not whine and try to do something, open up to people and speak with them. Do not let it to control you life. P.S. I didn’t expect this post to be so long and my thought to be so mixed up. I just have so much to tell you about. Thank you for reading it! Find yourself in this world!