Totally understand I was once in your shoes. You are stronger than you know. Once you start to not give a crap about what people think, your speech will become less of an issue. I didn’t gain confidence until I was about 25. It will take time and in my case I found that when I felt better about myself- was working out, eating better, and away from my horrible family environment I became a confident speaker... not fluent, but confident. I still struggle every single day but I brush it off and don’t give it a second thought.