The realization that I don’t stutter when I’m talking to myself alone was a big deal for me. It showed me that my stutter was rooted in my sense of self, specifically how I appear to others, and what they think of me when I stutter. When I’m talking to myself alone, there’s the missing piece, the Other, so I don’t stutter. I believe this started me on the right path to taking away the power from my stutter and getting back control, bc this was something I could do something about. It took many more years before I felt comfortable enough with myself to use my tools openly in public to work through a block (my jam) or stammer. But so much better than the helplessness I feel when it has me in the grips.