I have feelings for a guy who was a total jerk during our first interaction and I don’t know how to feel about it

I have feelings for a guy who was a total jerk during our first interaction and I don’t know how to feel about it It's true that we're all multifaceted, and we all have the capacity to grow. To make a long story short, I was in Mexico, and I saw some white American teenagers playing volleyball. I wanted to play, to befriend these kids. I wasn't playing well, and one of the boys "John", started making indirect comments about me to his brother. I could infer he was talking about me from the way he was saying it. But eventually, he figured out that I spoke English, and he started showing me how to throw the ball. Even when I didn't get it right, he was still being nice to me and saying encouraging things. A few days later, I had befriended another girl, and she was hanging out with the same group of kids at the volleyball game. I really didn't want to hang out because of John specifically, but I wanted to get closer to this other girl. However, John was flirting with me, and he took care of me when I got really drunk. Like, he helped escort me to my bed. I was really drunk and apologizing to everyone, and he kissed me. He was super nice to me after, and tried getting to know me better. But I still feel icky liking someone who was so rude to me when he didn't even know me.