I Tired Of How My Life Is & Need Some Advice

I Tired Of How My Life Is & Need Some Advice I physically can’t continue life like this anymore. Although I’m doing quite decent at University, I keep getting into depressive slumps that tank my performance so much I miss weeks of assignments and classes. I keep thinking about relationships with people I don’t have access to on an emotional level, but would want that connection with. Every time I open my mouth I ruin a potential friendship I could’ve had if I spoke the way I wanted to express myself. Doing something that puts myself out there leads me to talking to people, but not connecting with them and is just leaving me a trail of a life full of regrets I can’t go back to and change even if I had the access to them a second time. It not like my stutter is the perfect culprit to blame either. Even if I got rid of it today, I don’t know how to fully express myself with my voice. I constantly get in this slumps from the more I continue life like this. I’ve made a close friend in my life, have never talked on an emotional level, have never been taken serious, etc. I regret every waking day continuing life like this. Please give me some advice.