Dear members of the Stuttering community, how do you deal with it ??

Dear members of the Stuttering community, how do you deal with it ?? My heart feels heavy as I type these words... everyday is just the same as the previous one .. there's no improvement but just degradation. I avoid social gatherings and conferences because of this fear of Stuttering Let me tell you about myself. I have always been a fluent speaker throughout my childhood. It was at the age of 18 that this monster took over me and I feel crippled and coward day by day. I noticed that my speech was not as fluent as it used to be but I was a covert stutterer so I hid it from my family and friends but this year all my friends, seniors and juniors knew about it as it stuttered on my name !!!! :( it was very embarrassing. I tried speech therapy thrice but nothing worked. Although it's not that severe, I get blocks and I avoid social situations such as meetings and gatherings. Every now and then I read the posts of the fellow stutterers of how they've overcome the shame and embarrassment about their speech and they just don't care about the listeners opinion about them. At this point, I don't even want fluency, all I want to is to speak despite my blocks and not get hurt afterwards. I just cancelled to go to a very important conference because of my own embarrassment towards my stutter:( If you relate to this post or have any suggestions, I would love to hear them :)