Struggling With Emotional Communication

Struggling With Emotional Communication I struggle with approaching new things because I experience immense anxiety while actually engaging in them. This anxiety often surfaces when I interact with people, especially because until recently, I grappled with an unbearable stutter. Emotional conversations have been particularly challenging for me; I used to rely solely on one-liner jokes to navigate discussions. When I tried to have human to human conversation I could never form a full thought without someone getting annoyed I’m talking or switch topics because I made it awkward and didn’t even finish my thought, because of this I’ve never truly connected on a human level. While I could easily attract people with humor, I couldn't engage in deeper emotional exchanges. I was the person who lightened the mood but wasn't someone you'd turn to for heartfelt conversations, support, to invite, have fun, etc. I understand now that my constant joking may have prevented others from seeing me as someone who could be taken seriously. Consequently, I've started to limit the number of jokes I make, hoping to be perceived in a more sincere light and express myself clearly to people I talk to. I aspire to learn how to emotionally connect with others in conversation and feel lost in this endeavor. At 19, I've faced setbacks, including dropping out of college due to mental health struggles and accumulating some debt. However, I'm determined to address these challenges, repay my debts—around $12k—and return to college once I feel ready socially. I hope this community can offer guidance and support as I navigate this journey.