A negative mindset will only make things worse. I'm not saying don't believe in God because everyone has their own beliefs. But I will say you need to take control of your life and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You need to embrace it because there's no other choice besides letting it ruin you. From what I understand all of us stutters will have this problem forever. It suck but it is what it is. You need to adapt and be confident There's plenty of jobs where you don't have to talk btw. Also I've learned most, if not all, people don't care if we stutter. We are projecting our own emotions of it onto them