I've come to realize attempts to completely eradicate it are too forceful and short-lasting. You may reach a new high, but you also get a new low. If you were to accept it, chances are you would still stutter sometimes, but the difference would be it'd cause no distress on your organism. When stuttering has no physiological consequences, it ceases to be threatening. It becomes a mere blip. This all sounds good on paper, but the journey towards acceptance tends to be very messy. I'm still on it. What tends to irk me is living in people's memories as a stutterer. If they're thinking that, then my positive qualities might be overshadowed in their conception of me. They're seeing a different version of me than I'm seeing, which makes me overcompensate to win their approval and mend their what-I-perceive to be distorted image of me, instead of focusing on MY conception of myself. What if it isn't a distorted image to begin with? What if I am only indulging in a self-fulfilling prophecy? Then again, to call it a self-fulfilling prophecy may imply I have choice over the matter. Stuttering controls me, not I it. It strikes me as very confusing that I am able to see in my mind that stuttering is a fallacy but still not be able to transcend it. It could be the disconnect between emotions and thought. Many stutterers become able to speak fluently when in a room with their speech therapist. As soon as they go outside, emotions take over and all previous lessons are temporarily wiped out. I believe stuttering is more about being honest with your emotions than memorizing a technique that ends up a house of cards. I have been downright cruel with myself. To live devoid of any resemblance of self-love for too long truly takes its toll. You become the mask you put on, but lose the person behind. Do I think my reaction to stuttering has been worth it? Has it saved me from pain, or has it caused more? I think it has caused much more. To miss out on something good in fear of something bad doesn't ensure that there will be no bad, just that there will be no good.