My heart goes out to you <3. In school I used to block so badly on my name that I had a severe panic attack before a presentation in Spanish class. I'd dread the first day of school when we'd all go around introducing ourselves. The only way I could squeeze my name out was by adding an easier syllable before it (which caused a bit of confusion among my classmates).  I'm not exactly sure what clicked, now that I don't stumble on my name as often. I think I've subconsciously adopted a rhythm and melody to the way I introduce myself, like a memorized song. Considering we don't typically stutter when singing, maybe adding a subtle pattern of sound to your speech may help ease your block? Fwiw, I don't think employers would find a first name change that suspect. Some folks just don't like their name, transition, or prefer a different name just because. Do whatever you need to get through this and bear no shame about it.